Wednesday, September 14, 2011

They're Never Going to Like Me (a post for the Good Women Project)

I have the privilege of offering some thoughts about singleness today over at The Good Women Project. I was introduced to this blog over the summer by another blogger, and I'm excited for the chance to share in their work, and their writing. You can find them here and read the post here

“They’re never going to like me.” I wrote this the summer before my freshman year of college. I wrote it definitively in the strong strokes of a ballpoint pen, after a summer of chasing the dream of dating.

He had been interested for a while, it seemed. In between the haze of July and the fear of starting college in the fall, we’d had coffee once or twice. We’d kissed on a bench looking out over the ocean – right there, he had put his hands on my cheekbones and kissed me. We weren’t dating, but I was sure it would become something. That it had to become something.

He disappeared. Texts went unanswered; the facebook message thread faded, and then was deleted. The summer dissolved, and I started school with the words, “they’re never going to like me.”

And that voice was followed by this chaotic hurricane of reasons: I must not be pretty enough, skinny enough, sweet enough, funny enough. I’m too young, not young enough, too intense, too light-hearted, too poetic, and not poetic enough… I contradicted myself two or three times over while I made that list. I inked a wall around my heart.

To keep reading, click on over here


(photo: mandie sodoma, sindisiwe photography)

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Hilary!!! This is beautiful and extremely encouraging.
    I read the whole thing and then came back over here to leave you a little comment.

    Thank you for sharing. I'm encouraged by your words and your heart.


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