Lisa-Jo over at the Gypsy Mama asks us to write, no editing or worrying about if it's right, if we've chosen the perfect word or sentence... just to let our words shimmy out of us and into the world, bringing sunshine with them. Won't you join us? This week we're writing about "Full."
For as long as I've been in college full means too full. It means a heavy and loaded schedule that groans under the weight of classes and work and meetings and then the preparation for the meetings and where is the room for the dreaming? For the last minute spontaneous coffee dates with friends? Full has meant overwhelmingly full, achingly full, full of things to do and become. Full is the laundry list of responsibilities and full is the worrying sense of guilt that I'll do none of them perfectly and even that I'll forget something in the midst.
But something keeps shifting it for me, the definition slipping from my overachieving fingers back into what it wants to be. Now fullness means full of Him. Now fullness means a heart that overflows and expands to listen and love and guard the ones I love. Fullness means a head that spins with the images of the manna from Heaven:
the beads of condensation on a cold glass of iced tea
the laughter of a friend over dinner
the realization on a long trek of 6 miles that your body is a miracle
the yearning to finish the next page of the book because you can't put it down
listening to the sound of the fans breathing
And it is all manna and it is all goodness and if I just eat it, put my hands up to the sky and say thank you and eat, and trust that it's really good food... then fullness is a word about joy.