Friday, May 13, 2011

Deep Breaths (A Five Minute Post)

Lisa-Jo challenges us to write deep breaths in just five minutes!

Last night I lay awake for too long, tossing my sheets into a crumpled mess at my feet and wishing desperately to fall into sleep, into the tired weary exhale of the night. But suddenly the thought hit me that all of this is God, all of this restlessness and weariness is my soul yearning me back into His arms. He makes us restless for His rest, restless til we flop weary bones and bodies into his waiting arms. Until the Rembrandt van Rijn painting of the prodigal son is gloriously transformed into a picture of you and me and God and this world in Him, the love and tenderness in between brush strokes suddenly blazing out like fireflies blinking and shafts of sun through a cool Chartres cathedral and the waters of Baptism blessing helping us breathe.

I love God, I told my dear friend over coffee mugs and cinnamon French toast. I love Him terribly and deeply and with a ferocious kind of certainty that makes me mad sometimes because I think, I can’t not love You and be restless for You and squirm and fuss and gasp for air to breathe You into me. I want the bread from heaven, the manna… and I know lying in bed that I do not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from You and I breathe because You give me breath and I am peaceful because Peace is Your gift and I am tied to You, God. I love you terribly. And I want to breathe that kind of desperate love for Him all over this day and the lilacs that bloom and the restless beating heart and the broken relationships and the scattered thoughts and I want to stand in the middle of my life holding up the mess and saying, “I love you. I sing because You are my God.”



  1. Hilary,
    I love your style, girl. You fearlessly set the words of your heart free. Very, VERY well done. And your description of walking with God is spot on. I often think of Him as Terribly Beautiful. He compels me and drives me nuts all at the same time. I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you for putting into words what most of us feel before our feet ever hit the floor.

  2. Hilary, I love your heart for God. Your words are beautiful!

  3. Your posts are always powerful. This is so profound and true: "He makes us restless for His rest." He points us to Him in our restless times. He feeds us when we are hungry and needy. I'm thankful.

  4. This was so beautiful Hilary! I love this line, "And I want to breathe that kind of desperate love for Him all over this day "


  5. What a heartfelt post. Nice to "meet" you (I'm visiting from 5 Minute Friday). I'm also a fan of The Weepies, by the way. :)

  6. lovely as usual! and it's so true about how can we not be restless for Him, not want Him to fill us with breath that satisfies our longings for Him.


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