Friday, January 27, 2012

the tender are the strong (a five minute post)

It's Friday - a chance to write, play with words, share the joy of our writer selves with each other over at The Gypsy Mama's space. Won't you come along, and let your words fly free, too?

This week our prompt is: tender. 


My arm falls asleep only three minutes into rocking her, and her wails seem to echo in my small apartment and I worry, for the first time, that I really might never hear quiet again. And she's just four months and I am with her for two hours, just so that mom can meet with students, send emails, type with both hands on the keyboard.

So this little one and I rock, my feet in their silver Toms sliding against the carpet, and my voice cracked as I sing softly that I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back, the less I give, the more I get back... because The Civil Wars calm us both to sleep.

She is so strong, eyes laughing at my smile, arms flailing against my chest when we both know what she needs is mom but all she has is weak, small, insufficient me. And so we rock, arms asleep and weary, and suddenly, without warning:

She nestles into my chest, puts her small sweet face up against my skin, and I can feel her breathing, feel that pulse of life beat relentlessly in her chest and I realize that she carries me, in her softness and her helplessness and her need. She carries me, because my heart has been opened and widened beyond what I believed was possible, and it hurts a bit as it grows, and I keep wondering if the tenderness of the questions will ever become strong.

But she is the strong one in my living room. 


Her tiny fingers grip the edge of my sweater and she breathes life back into me and I realize that sometimes the messengers of God's love are only four months old and they only have one thing to say and it is this:

His love for you is big enough to fill your heart.

Love,
Hilary

21 comments:

  1. Awe... How moving.  This is beautiful.  I am almost speechless.  Thanks for sharing!

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  2. Hilary, what a powerful post!  I loved it!  Sometimes "the messengers of God's love are only 4 months old"  How true.  If you have time, I'd love for you to hop on over!  
    http://www.granolamom4god.com/2012/01/five-minute-friday-tender.html

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  3. profound and very
    very true.
    wonderful

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  4. Hilary. that was beautiful. i mean just amazing. so glad you had that experience. reminds me of the smallness Mary must have felt holding her newborn baby...you are right, God can meet us and fill us anywhere using anything...that is a great story that I hope you shared with her mother...

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  5. Thank you for visiting! 

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  6. Thank you! I'm hopping on over to your place right now!

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  7. Hilary, what a lovely writing. I really enjoyed your description of God's love being seen in a baby. And that the reminder that His care is so strong it can fill our hearts and make us more vulnerable and dependent on Him.

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  8. Precious, this picture of you with this baby. And the way God used her to speak love to you is so profound. Blessings to you as you grow comfortable in His tenderness.

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  9. Thank you for visiting!

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  10. Thank you so much for visiting. It is a special experience to be with small ones, and as a babysitter, I feel so blessed by it.

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  11. Thank you, Malisa! It's so powerful to see that peace and care, and to remember that He loves us that extravagantly. I'm so glad you stopped by!

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  12. Thank you, Shelly. I pray blessings on you as you grow in His tenderness, too.

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  13. And your precious one teaches me this lesson, too. Thank you for coming over to this here space. It's always good to have you here.

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  14. So beautiful, Hilary! Love the messages that God sends us in unexpected ways. 

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  15. Awww - what a beautiful sweet message!  Sometimes the little moments are the sweetest and deepest somehow.

    Amy
    makingajoyfulhome.blogspot.com

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  16. Children...the biggest blessing...they have away don't they. Beautifully written.

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  17. Good gracious. All of your Five Minute posts are beautiful. 

    I get this: "... type with both hands on the keyboard." Want to come help me out with that, too? And yes on the soothing nature of The Civil Wars! They're amazing.

    And what a beautiful, needed truth about God's love. Thank you, Hilary.

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  18. Thank you for visiting, Caroline. I'm always glad to see you here!

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  19. Thank you! They are such a blessing.

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  20. Thank you, Sarah. It is so good and surprising to hear those messages. Have a lovely weekend!

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